Happy Birthday Russell Westbrook: A List of Presents He Could/Should Receive

For fear of you guys criticizing me tomorrow for not doing this for Metta World Peace's 34th birthday, I will still go with my gut and post a list of presents that I wish I could give Russ this year.

1) More 90's Cartoon shirts
2) Less Tyler the Creator/Tommy Bahama Shirts
3) Mike D'antoni as a coach (but as of 7AM PST, that is no longer a possibility.  Thanks a lot, Jim Buss for ruining this joke).  So at least the point-guard friendly offense D'antoni runs.
4) Lil Bow Wow's face photoshopped onto his body, or his face on Bow Wow's body. Who can tell the difference??
5) More roller blade J's
6)  Less frameless post-game glasses, more Tony parker in-game goggles.
7) Joakim Noah's finger guns dance to add in with his pistol gunzz celebration
8) Permanent physical and mental reminder to never get this hair cut again

Please feel free to add in any other gift ideas!