Some Possible Sanctions Against the Spurs

Last night commissioner David Stern managed to draw more attention to an already highly anticipated game by threatening sanctions against Spurs head-coach, Gregg Popovich for resting 4 of his starters.  Presumbably, Stern was going to punish Pop for making a early season battle between League powerhouses meaningless by sitting 3 future hall of famers and one exciting young talent.

Via projectspurs:

“I apologize to all NBA fans,” said Stern in a statement shown during TNT’s pregame show. “This was an unacceptable decision by the San Antonio Spurs and substantial sanctions will be forthcoming.”

Pretty boss move. However, once the game started and the second-string Spurs decided to take the Heat down to the wire, I kinda got the feeling the David Stern was shaking his fist at Pop and the Spurs for making his earlier proclamation look so silly.

After all, if Ray Allen had clanked the game-winningthree, today's big story might not be that Pop rested Duncan and gang, but that he won with Gary Neal and the rest of the who-are-theys.

Since David Stern seems really busy finding ways to become the real-life Buzz Killington, I figured I'd help him out with some suggestions for sanctions he can levy against the Spurs that we would all enjoy.

1) Greg P must sign up for a a twitter account and talk smack to his fake alter ego.

2) In public, Popovich must address French power forward, Boris Diaw, by a phonetic translation of his name (e.g “Boris the Aw boxed out well for us”)

3) Encourage Tony Parker to revise his once promising hip hop career

4) Discourage Stak 5 from continuing his current hip hop career

4) Make it mandatory that Manu wear his halloween costume to all home game press conferences.

5a) Clean it up in the summer

5b)  Let it grow in the fall

5c) Get Sean Connery-y for the winter

6) Be required to always wear a necktie no matter how San-Antonio-hot it gets

7) Obligated to engage in pre-game hug-fest with Mark Cuban everytime their teams meet.

8) Answer as many media questions as Charles Barkley chooses to ask

Feel free to leave any other suggestions for how to punish the Pop!