Q: Why are women so hard to figure out?
A: Who’s trying to figure them out? I think we just need to love them.
Definitely agree, my russian brother.
Q: Describe your ideal mate.
A: Beautiful, smart, sexy and makes a mean bowl of borscht.
Q: Is marriage something you would consider some day?
A: I have said that if the Nets don’t win the NBA championship within five years, I will punish myself by getting married. We are in year three. So no one is more interested in winning a championship than yours truly.
I do not approve of this one. For the record. Very quotacious, but I disagree. I promise, Jaclyn.
Q: Which actor would you want to play you in the movie about your life and why?
A: Chris Rock or Danny DeVito. For obvious physical resemblance.
Q: How would you do in a one-on-one pickup basketball game against James Dolan (right)?
A: I’d rather split a pizza with him and watch our teams battle it out.
Q: Since you play the guitar and sing, why not perform at a concert with Jay-Z?
A: One thing this planet does not need is me rapping.
Q: If you knew the world was going to end in 24 hours, how would you spend your last day?
A: I’d have a big party with lots of music and good food and wine. I’d gather all my friends and family and party like it’s 1999.
Great choice. His party would probably have music taken from Napster
Q: Three dinner guests from any point in history?
A: I would want to invite Ivan the Terrible and try to convince him to take Russia in the direction of Europe. I’d invite my grandfather on my mother’s side. I never met him. He was a military doctor and he died in World War II. People in our family say I resemble him. And Benjamin Franklin because I feel I know him already. During the wild 90’s, when there was no real banking system, Russia had more $100 bills in circulation than any country in the world!
Q: Fill in the blank — if I were NBA Commissioner, I would ...
A: … move the league to Siberia and cede the position to David Stern.
Q: Fill in the blank — if I were president of Russia, I would ...
A: ... not cede the position until my two terms were over, then step down.
Q: People you haven’t met and would like to meet?
A: This person called Honey Boo Boo is at the top of my list at the moment. From Moscow it looks as though the US has lost its collective mind on that.
hahahahahahahaha, oh mikhail.
Q: When do you expect the Nets to win an NBA championship?
A: In June.
Q: Athletes and coaches in other sports you admire?
A: In terms of hockey, Anatoli Tarasov, the father of Russian hockey, and in soccer Valery Lobanovsky, for his original approach to the game. I hope Brooklyn Nets coach Avery Johnson will also soon become a living legend.
Q: Favorite sports movie?
A: All the “Rocky” movies, except the one where he beats up on the Russian, of course.
Q: Why are you a bad loser?
A: In order to win, you cannot even contemplate losing.
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