Video: A Vince Carter Superhero Hype-up Video

 his weakness: a unhealthy love for contested 3-pointers

Video: Andre Drummond and Kyle Singler Modeling

The Pistons have really got this themed home games thing down. Notably, they had their star wars night earlier this month with lightsaber battle promo video starring one of the most underrated mascots in the NBA.

Next month (March 4th) they are now going to have a 70's/80's night.  To get Detroitians and others hyped, they had their lovable front court rookie duo of mega athletic Andre Drummond and mega trickshothetic Kyle Singler dress up in what I assume is stereotypical garb if they had been born 30 years ago.

Looks like Singler got the short end of the stick cause while Drummond's got the rope gold chain/ Run DMClook, Singler just looks like a used car salesmen.

Video: A Catchy-Phrased Brandon Jennings Video

New Underarmor spot starring yours and my favorite dancing Buck.  Highlights include one of my fave mascots, Bango the Buck and B.Jennings transforming into a cartoon.  Lots going on here, almost to the point of feeling  like the directors were trying a little too hard to be all hipster and junk.  That's a losing effort btw, cause apparently only thing hipster about the bucks is possibly rocking an old school big dog robinson jersey, and even I'm not too sure that qualifies.
 
Whatevs though.  Still enough here to pay attention to involving the aforementioned cool mascot and cool roger rabbit graphics. Also it's "your boy" and not anyone else's boy "who's doing it", so glad that at least that part is clear. 

Video: Glenn Davis is a big bully

Look at poor andrew nicholson's face the first time Glenn Davis asks about his sammich.  This is what happens when your team's savvy veteran leader is serious about his pregame snacks.

Video: James Jones singing Cee-Lo

Besides being a stellar three point shooter, you can also add in quick-with-the-wit in his kaorakee singing as part of the too-personal scouting report for James Jones. 

Watch till the end for the Pat Riley/Erik Spoelstra improvisation.


"Yo Pat, tell your boy to give me more minutes. I wanna play".
-the cry of miami heat bench players for the reason of the season.

Video: Cliff Interviewing Chris

Ernie Johnson = Legend
but
Shaq = Kazaam

I think Chris Paul's word association game is a bit off.

Trade Controversy in the League

I guess all that hoopla from Lance Armstrong earlier this week and Manti Te'o yesterday spawned a controversy in our league as well.

 The trade between Challah and The Replacements listed above was vetoed by commishner Timothy "Taiwan cus that's where i'm at" Lee earlier this week.  The reasoning was that there was talks of collusion between the two teams involved.  Supposedly, Challah and The Replacements made a deal to combine efforts of both of their underperforming teams in hopes of giving themselves a chance at contending for a playoff spot.

The two teams traded back their players last night, which means all other prospective cheaters in the league should be warned.  Don't you dare try any funny business cause although our commish is 14 hours off from our current time, he is still spot on in his review of fair trades.  Also, our league does not respect  the"no take-back" rule from kindergarten.

Video: Kyle Singer is Getting Ridiculous With These Trick Shot Videos

If you missed the first, or the second, Singler's now got a third.  This guy has got to be a wizard or something.  Cause of the ridiculous ease in which he makes those shots and cause he  looks like he could be one of the Weasleys.

Highlight: Glenn Davis Just Invented A New And 1 Dance

the most big baby of dances.

Ronnie Brewer Just Got A Custom Chelsea Jersey

In case y'all didn't know that Thursday's Knicks vs. Piston game is being played in London and all of Mike Woodson's guy are taking in the sights of America's grand-daddy, here is a pic of Ronnie Brewer with his Chelsea jersey.

Video: Nets Play Some Tough Games While Wearing Furry Hats

3rd Place: Reggie Evans giving the crazy eyes at :15.

2nd Place: Marshon Brooks saying "Joe" and still not guessing Joe Johnson at 1:49

1st Place: Brook Lopez' speaking at 1:31 and 2:16, actually Brook Lopez' voice saying anything is the funniest.  Minimize the screen and just listen to that big goofhead's voice and you're guaranteed to chuckle for extended minutes.

Highlight: Best Commentary On A Taj Gibson Dunk Ever

"taj gibson (your name here) just friend-requested him", should be the new 'got-em' quote to use on the courts. 

Dwyane Wade is a tattle-tale

Mr. Wade got some front-row fashionista in Utah thrown out last night.

For proof see the video below.  A scary coincidence that the security guard doing the 'throwing' out looks like my 5th grade teacher. Whatever Mr. studs on his white pants did, it worked as Wade and the Heat were beat by 7 despite a ferocious 4th quarter comeback after Wade tattled and got the bro thrown out.

 Way worth it, jazzie brother.

Video: A Security Guard Dances with / D's up Dirk

watch Dirk Lurk was the original title I was gonna go with.

Video: ESPN Commercial starring Rondo and His Genetic Abnormality

I know I tried to be too cute with the title, but I wanted to build up just the right amount of anticipation.  Enjoy.

Brandon Jennings Says He'll Be Dancing Again

on how he feels about the recent coaching change.

"I’ve got my swagger now. I can clown around, dance, do what I want. I might end up changing my hair back again"

so you mean this brandon is back?






 
gooodie.

Highlight: Ricky Rubio With the Creative Pass

Since passing the ball through your defender's legs is so played out now that even 7-3 centers are doing it, Ricky Rubio has introduced us to a new fresher pass of going through your OWN legs.  Let's hope it catches on as it is quite the crafty move.

Martell Webster Wears Cool Shoes

No idea on the back story for this instagrammed photo of Martell Webster rocking some toed shoes.  My guess at the"WTF" caption...Wow, Toe Feet?   

Video: Shaq's New Video Game

there was that fake Shawn Marion video game and now there's this real Shaq one.  Available for $0.99. I might be lured into purchasing this just to see what this "free throw" attack you hear on the preview looks like.

Carmelo on Going After KG After Last Night's Loss

"I lost my composure yesterday."

Melo, we know. WE SAW.

Video: Magic, Nash, and CP3 Just Hanging at a Diner

 Don't know why Steve Nash is in his jersey and not all suited up like Magic.  Hopefully he didnt dissapear from his game too - possibly defensively. cause that would just be cold, cold joke, NBA commercial makers.  

Video: Pistons Discuss Their Fashion Sense

No creative answers from those Pistons, but still some comical stuff.  Most notably Jonas Jerebko trying to milk the fact that he's 'european' as the crux of his argument for why he's best drsssed. Sorry, that's just simply not true.  Dirk is european and he hates neckties.  But you're swedish? Joakim Noah is half, so yeah, faulty argument.

Bouncing Ball: Perspectives from some of your favorite film characters

Jason Thompson as the forgotten Disney classic, Pinocchio.

John Wesley Snipes Salmons is Gollum/Sméagol, clearly mouthing "preh-shuzzzzz"

Isaiah Thomas as Doug from "Up", because the more I look, the more I that think he's seen some fan's snack and is thinking "CHURRO?"

Reggie Evans is Trinity, the very bendy girlfriend of Neo, from Matrix.

Highlight: Josh McRoberts with the Fancy Schmancy No Looker

Brilliant pass by McBob and not bad of a shot by Jonathan Clay.  But did you notice Andrew Nicolson throwin up the pistols?  Oh Robert Sacre, look what you have brought back.

Video: Metta World Peace, Danilo Gallinari, Cory Brewer to the tune ofYakety Yak

Not a easy loss for laker fans last night.  Hope this one eases the pain.

Kobe Gets A Twitter

If you enjoyed Kobe's trial run with twitter using the handle @nikebasketball, he's now got one of his own.  If his tweets are as dry as that "Kobe Doin Work" snorer, you can count me out as a follower.  However, based on his first tweet, this could be a promising start.

Power Rankings: Weeks 4-9 Part III

And finally, the top three teams in the league. They have been steady if not dominant at times and are expected to win out every week.  Why the Spurs and Thunder as opposed to the Eastern Conference leaders, Heat and Knicks? Not the Heat, cause there are no defending champions here.  Nor the Knicks, cause none of the owners of these teams are significantly older than the owners of the other teams in the league.  Also, if you remember the epic game where the Tony P game winner captured above, these 3 teams should be neck and neck in their match ups against one another.  Just like whenever the Thunder and Spurs meet up.

3rd
Rob
7-2 to gmachine
6-2 to The Replacements
7-2 to k1dk0be   
2-7 to Sleeper Squad
5-4 to skiptomylou
4-5 to kobeking

Laying the smack down against teams the last 3 weeks as he has not allowed any opponent to win more than 2 categories against him.  The concern with this team is that he does not dominate many categories besides being the top team in the league in the BLKs category (8-1).  For example, he only posts a near.500 record for stats like 3PTM, PTS, STL, which means you could easily win 3 categories against  him in a given week.  Some consolidation of talent around Lebron should be done in gearing this team up for the playoffs.

The Young and the Ageless: The future of the NBA lies with Lebron and Uncle Drew and these two also headline this fantasy team and fantasy basketball in general as the overall 1 and 10 ranked players.  If it weren’t unfair enough to have those two, the android rebuilt to pose as San Antonio future hall-of-famer, Tim Duncan, has been having one of his most efficient seasons ever.  Since its clear a robot has taken over for TD, age won’t be a factor and we can count on Duncan to keep performing at this high clip.

Depreciating Bigs: With Dirk’s return, Elton Brand’s minutes and numbers are continuing to drop.  No word on how Kris Humphries is going to play now that his ex-wife is preggos with Kanye’s baby, but something must have bitten the Brooklyn Big as he has been playing mediocre over the past 2 weeks.  Rob is gonna need to patch up some of these holes with some savvy pickups if he doesn’t want to drop more match-ups against lower ranked teams.

2nd
Clipper Nation
4-5 to Laker Gang
5-4 to Challah
6-3 to gmachine
5-3 to The Replacements
3-5 to k1d k0be
7-2 to Sleeper Squad

Clipper Nation has shown itself to be a team deep in FG%, FT%, 3PTM, PTS and STL.  However, this team is definitely not unstoppable as you can tell from the losses in week 9 and 5.  Dropping this team’s rank in second not due to any deficiencies but rather it being out performed by the #1 ranked team:

Productive 1’s and Versatile 4’s: Clipper Nation seems to have found a successful formula in stacking his team with efficient point guards like Rondo and Conley and the most versatile of fantasy forwards headlined by Ry Anderson, Demarcus Cousins, Andrei Kirilenko and MVP-worthy, David Lee.  Although it seems that his stretch 4’s and unconventional bigs don’t get him as much REB and BLK (the two categories his team is weak in), he makes up for it in winning FG% and FT% handedly with these type of selective but productive scoring front court players.  Also, watch out for Tyreke Evans to make a comeback when Demarcus Cousins gets traded and Ricky Rubio’s numbers to pick up when he gets to 100% health.

Rely on rookies?  This team has the depth to not have to depend on Dion Waiters and Anthony Davis to contribute the bulk of the fantasy stats.  The two of them do provide necessary niche stats like 3PTM, REB and BLK.  As the season progresses and rookies hit that typical “wall” in production, Clipper Nation would be better served trading these young’ns for some more seasoned performers to help his team gain that extra boost.
   

1st
Laker Gang
5-4 to Clipper Nation
7-2 to gmachine
6-3 to The Replacements
7-1 to k1d k0be
6-3 to Sleeper Squad
5-4 to skiptomylou

The new and current king of the hill goes to Laker Gang for winning 6 out of 6 matchups in the past month and a half.  His rise has been result of James Harden and Tony Parker playing at top fantasy level as well as some shrewd trades with four different teams since the middle of November.  Only critique of this team at the moment is the fact that he’s now got two injured high production guards in Thornton and Rose gathering up DNP’s.  However, Laker Gang has risen in league standings with DRose on the bench (picked him up on Oct. 28th), so if he can keep winning while waiting for last year’s MVP and Thornton to return, all the power to him.

Fab Four: Of the players he drafted, only Deron Williams, Blake Griffin, Gerald Wallace and Nene HIlario remain.  All four of these guys are having ‘down’ years in terms of fantasy production so makes ya think what if Laker Gang went ahead and flipped these four guys like he has with the rest of his roster, perhaps he would run away with the league title.  You have all been warned.  Don’t fall for his seductive proposals.

Doesn’t Live up  to his name: Must love the laker organization more than the current crop of players as Laker Gang hasn’t traded for or picked up off free agency any current Lakers  Closest was Ramon Sessions, a half-laker, cause he only spent part of last season with the purp and gold and also cause he sucked most of the time he was there.  

Shawn Marion stars in Super Marion Brothers

Very accurate in how they captured Shawn Marion's wrist flip shot.

Highlight: Andre Miller Cracks 15k Career Points

Andre Miller broke into the 15,000 career points category last night.  That's a whole lot of mid-range twos by Dre.  In the history of the NBA, there are only 124 guys who have scored more points than him.  To put this in perspective, he is now firmly ahead of guys like hall of famers, Jamal Wilkes (14644) and mini-me lookalike, Mike Bibby (14698).  Check out how he makes the most 'andre miller'-y pump fake flat footed jump shot to join this illustrious group.  

Power Rankings: Weeks 4-9 Part II

In the middle of the league are these 3 teams who are caught in a three-way tie for fourth place in wins.  They are the "warrior hawks" of this league in that although they aren't the front runners just as golden state is second in the pacific to the Clippers and the Hawks are second fiddle in the Southeast to the Heat, but they have a good chance of knocking out any of the top 3 in the playoffs.


6th:
Sleeper Squad
6-2 to Chalah
6-3 to skiptomylou
3-5 to kobeking
7-2 to Rob
3-6 to Laker Gang
2-7 to Clipper Nation

Dropping this team down one place from its overall ranking as he and kobeking have the same record yet kobeking won their matchup in week 7. Although Sleeper Squad is at the bottom of the league in two categories (PTS and STL), any given week he has a good chance to win 5-6 other categories. If Andrew Bynum returns strong, and this team lives up to its name and picks up or more likely trades for more sleepers, Sleeper Squad should perform better than its current ranking.


Smooth moves: Trading for Steph Curry and Serge Ibaka have been this team's saving grace. Who would have thought that Brandon Jennings would be producing at such a high rate? Not anybody. Also, following the example of his great 10th round pick of Nikola Pekovic, Sleeper Squad went and grabbed another Nikola, Vujecic, who is playing out of his mind now too.


1 and done: James Harden, Jason Richardson, Amir Johnson, Andre Miller, Jason Maxiel, Gerald Green are all players who have recorded 1 game's worth of fantasy stats for Sleeper Squad.


5th
k1dk0be
5-4 to skiptomylou
4-5 to kobeking
7-2 to Rob
1-7 to Laker Gang
5-3 to Clipper Nation
3-6 to gmachine


In the middle of this three way tie in the middle of the league is k1dk0be's team. This team has won spectacularly in taking down one-time league leader, Rob (7-1) in week 7, but also lost devastatingly like it did in week 6 to Laker Gang (1-7). As inconsistent as this team has been in its week to week production, there haven't been many roster changes as k1dk0be has stuck with his draft day picks through thick and thin. He's sitting comfortably in the middle of the pack but needs to take more risks if he doesn't want to get left behind from the leaders of this league.


Dominant: Has one of the rare 8-1 records in the category of points and has never lost in the BLK category either (has 2 ties though).


Can't Keep it up Can He? Referring to kobe and jamal crawford's high point production as well as Brook Lopez playing like a new man since Avery Johnson was fired. Kyle Lowry and Thad Young have come back down to earth after soaring through the first part of the season. Maybe k1dk0be is on to something with all these overachievers.


4th
kobeking
Record since last power rankings:
3-6 to The Replacements
5-4 to k1dk0be
5-3 to Sleeper Squad
6-3 skiptomylou
6-3 to Challah
5-4 to Rob

A recipient of some high impact performers in December with Chris Paul and Carmelo Anthony and most recently Player of the Week, Greivis Vasquez (seriously).  kobeking’s players have been playing as well as they possibly could (see Matt Barnes and Vasquez) but he still has a lot of potential with Wes Matthews making his return and John Wall has yet to make his season debut.  

A lot like LA: Call this team the Clippers for the winning streak he was having through November and most of December. Then, kobeking dropped its matchup with league bottom-dweller, The Replacements, in week 9. In essence, playing like the Lakers have been all season, in giving the 9th Ranked team in this league its first win in almost 2 months.

Pretty Dominant: Only team in this league to have 7 Wins out of 9 matchups in 3 statistical categories (3PTM, AST, STL).  Expect him to continue winning these categories with those high octane guards and wing players of his.  Competing teams will have to win the other 6 categories when matched up against this team.

Power Rankings: Weeks 4-9 Part I

Hello League-ers, after much delay, here are the first of the 2013 power rankings.  You will find below the rankings for teams 10 through 7. I'd like to dub these teams the combo of the Magic and Raptors, (Magical Raptors?).  

Similar to our lovable losers in Canada and Florida, these four teams have  some pretty awful records.  However, since the top 6 qualify, they are barely outside of the playoff picture just like how the Magic and Raps are 2.5 games out of the 8th spot in the "LEastern" Conference.  

10th

Challah
Record since last power rankings:
2 - 6  to Sleeper Squad
4 - 5 to Clipper Nation
2 - 7 to skiptomylou
4 - 5 to gmachine
3 - 6 to kobeking
5 - 4 to The Replacements
 
It has been a rough month a half for Challah as he has been on the losing side ofthe majority of matchups.  His team is firmly in 10th although he did take down the Replacements in their week 4 matchup.
 
On the bright side: Larry Sanders is emerging as a force as a fantasy asset.  Challah can try to flip this guy now while his stock is ever so high.
 
Dilemma:  This is a team of efficient but not spectacular performers. Although Kemba Walker is emerging as a force, Challah won’tbe able to contend with the rest of the league in 3’s, AST or STL.  He might be better served consolidating his stats in 5-6 main categories.  That way he can eek out some 5-4 victories focusing on his strengths of REB, BLKS, TO.

 
9th
The Replacements
Record since last power rankings:
6-3 to kobeking
2-6 to Rob
3-6 to Laker Gang
3-5 to Clipper Nation
3-6 o gmachine
 4-5t o Challah

Theever revolving door of players for The Replacements means whatever iswritten here seems to be subject to change as soon as he sees a dealthat he likes and decides to blow up his roster again.  Only onewinning week in the last 6 and that was last week against acontending team so hmmmm, good thing I didn’t post where I had himafter week 8.

Be Wary, Competitors:There is more bite to this team than meets the eye.  Based on his stats from week 9, he could have also taken down Challah (5-3)and would have been close in being on the losing side of some 4-5,3-5 matchups with k1dk0be, skiptomylou, Sleeper Squad and Lakers Nation.  The Replacements rank high in FG% FT% as well as REBs.  Although his record will probably teeter around .500, he can upset some teams if he can sneak out an advantage in two or three more categories.

Side kicks:Has Bosh and Wade but not Bron, has Pau,  Metta, and Nash but not Kobe. Felton and Amare but not Melo. This team is heavily invested in the 2nd and 3rd options on 3 of the premier teams in the NBA.  Makes it easy to watch his fantasy players, but unless the top gunners on each of these teams go down, can’t imagine these Robins putting up Batman type numbers.

8th
gmachine
Record since last power rankings:
2-7 to Rob
2-7 to Laker Gang
3-6 to Clipper Nation
5-4 to Challah
6-4 to The Replacements
6-3 to k1d k0be

Tale of two seasons basically at this point.   Has hit a losing streak with inconsistent performers across the board.  However, Al Jefferson and Jrue Holiday are playing at  all-star levels and that Dirk guy  is  going to get himself back into shape soon so things are looking up. Plus, the two month wait on Eric Gordon is finally over  so hopefully the aachy breaky knee of Gordon’s holds up and pushes gmachine upward in the standings.

Hardly Healthy: gmachine took a gamble on some injury prone guys in Gordon and Anderson Varejao. He has also had to wait on Dirk to get healthy and start contributing while depending on some fossils like Jkidd and streaky young guns like OJ Mayo to provide relief in the meantime. If he ever has his full roster playing and contributing, his team can be a nightmare to match up against.


Passing and Punting: really good at passing (8-1 in the AST category matchups). Seems to be punting a certain category (1-8 in BLK matchups)

7th
skiptomylou
4-5 to k1dk0be
3-6 to Sleeper Squad
7-2 to Challah
3-6 to kobeking

4-5 to Rob

4-5 to Laker Gang

Closely contending in mosto f his match-ups, skiptomylou has been on the losing end on almost all of those close battles.  His draft predictions on Damian Lillard and  Andre Drummond have looked to be solid choices, but in the long run, there just doesn’t seem to be enough firepower in the heart of his roster to make this team a legit threat.


Not too shabby: With Dwight starting the season playing like KostaKoufos, skiptomylou has been winning his matchups due to the strongplay of his guards Monta, Klay, and Lillard (has since faded but was solid early on). That is why he has won the majority of his matchups in 3PTM, AST, and STL. If only forwards, Rudy Gay could reawaken his early season beast mode and Josh Smith can keep up his recent tear, then this team can probably sneak up a couple spots in the standings.


Poo Poo Percentages: 1-8 in both FG% and FT%, but what can you expect with gunners like Monta and Klay? Also, Dwightand Drummond are in that exclusive category of shooting better fromthe field than from the free throw line.

Video: Lebron Will Shake Your Hand

It is well-documented that Lebron kind of has this thing where he tends to leave dudes hanging.  But before you label him as a big hand holding hatington, note that if he zips a lead pass which is not caught and hits you in the face, you will indeed get a hand hug.

Highlight: Jimmer shakes and Isaiah celebrates

Jimmer with the nice change of pace crossover and pretty adorable how Tyler Honeycutt pulls Isaiah back from celebrating too far onto the court.