Happy New Year From A Guy Wearing a Hat On Top of His Hat

since it is already 2013 on the east coast, here's how shump looked going into 2013.  almost our turn west coast!

Dwight Howard is Basically Kosta Koufos Right Now

OC Register writer Kevin Ding wrote a painfully accurate article this morning analyzing Dwight Howard's transition as a Laker.

Among the many insightful statements made in that article, was the claim that some anonymous NBA insiders are comparing D12 to the Nuggets 5th year center for how mediocre his impact is on the team. 

"Hey, hey now, but Koof is averaging career highs across the board" say some Nugget fans.

Read this excerpt from Ding's article for context:

"Dwight Howard is basically Kosta Koufos" was the message I got from one NBA insider midway through the Lakers' loss Wednesday night in Denver, referring to the Nuggets' largely anonymous center.

Not long after, someone else who works in league personnel offered: "If you dropped in from another planet and had no idea who the players were, you would never know that Dwight Howard was one of the best players."

I mean I personally am a huge fan of Kosta from back in his Ohio State days and the shenanigans Mark Titus used to write about the big guy, but even this claim has me shaking my head.  As well as Kosta has been outletting passes, he should not be in the same breath with Dwight, even if it is just a hyperbolic statement commenting on the disappointing season Howard is having.

Also in the article is the scathing comparison that Dwight Howard, who has made it clear that he does not want to be compared to Shaq, is now duplicating the most undesirable qualities that #34 used to bring to the Lakers.

However, to borrow from Spiderman's uncle Ben, Dwight has inherited great power in being a Laker center and with that power comes great responsibility. The benefits that come with being in the league's largest market and the prestige and fame of of being the premier big man on argubaly the league's most famous team means that Dwight needs to welcome unfair and ridiculous comparisons.

He is going to be heavily scrutinized and in this case unfairly compared in statistical numbers such as PER and +-, but also in the trivial ways for how he carries himself in post-game interviews such as explaining his mistakes (see last night's interview about his foul on Kenneth Faried and subsequent ejection).  Anyone who has played myplayer in NBA 2k knows that you gotta handle those interview mo' gracefully, Dwight.

Really trying to make it clear that Dwight is not the victim here and not make too a big deal out of some NBA insider's silly exaggerated comparison.

However, the only solution for Dwight now if he wants to save his legacy is to not only outplay guys like Koufos but entirely eclipse the rest of the centers in the League with his statistical performance, and overall impact on the Laker organization. 

Highlight: JR Smith Hits the Game Winner Over the Suns

Since Melo and Ray Felton were inactive last night, JR Smith seized the opportunity to shine against the Suns.  Peep the beautiful buzzer beater below.

With 1 second on the clock, and Jason Kidd inbounding, Tyson Chandler was too heavily guarded to handle a lob, there wasn't enough time for Steve Novak's smooth J, and James White was probably out there confused at how he could use his insane dunking ability with so little time on the clock.

Anyone  watching this game should have seen it coming; a ridiculously angled corner jumper off  a curl from the man named Earl.

Doc Rivers Calls Sullinger Fat

"When you watch him, you don’t see rookie. You just see a big fat guy playing basketball.”

 -Doc Rivers on Jared Sullinger

Doug Collins Gives Big Macs to Fans

On the friday before Christmas, the Sixers ended their losing streak.

Ninety-nine on the 'board, the hungry fans started to freak

A basket, a free throw or even a Dorell Wright ill-advised three.

"Please just another point", thought those who love freebies.

Except the lead was too big; running up the score would not be appreciated.

No one wanted to see what would happen if Ivan Johnson became irritated.

Coach motioned to hold the ball,

and said ""I'll make it up to them all"

Evan did as was told and the clock hit zero.

1800 burgers on him; Doug Collins our hero.

Video: Chris Paul and His Twin Brother

Chris Paul joining Blake in the commercial funnies department.  Keep em, coming!

Christmas Day Recap: Nice and Naaaaaaah-really

Hope everyone had a great time watching the bonanza of NBA games on Christmas Day.  For a run-down of late night's festivities, I thought I'd get a head start for Santa on his list-making for 2013.

Nice

1) Kobe and Carmelo were both on fire as they shot 14-24 and 13-23 respectively.  Kobe broke the record for most points on Christmas Day set byt he Big O and also got the win, so gonna have to give Mr. Bryant the advantage for the day.

2) Lebron's "no foul" streak ended last night, and that shows how amazing Bron is playing that we get amazed when he registers a foul.

3) Talk about making your Ex regret you.  Omer Asik had 20 points and 18 boards against his former team and the Rockets smashed on the Bulls.

4) The Clippers were showboating even before the game began with their Christmas outfits.  Then they backed up their goofy outfits with a 48 minute highlight reel. 

5) Nuggets Christmas jersey.  Not much went right for them, but the yellow trim on those fits made Iggy even more majestic flying through the air.

Nah-really:

1) Brooklyn with all their off-season build up is basically at .500 with a 14-13 record.  They could have just stayed in New Jersey if they were going to continue performing so underwelmingly.

2) Kevin Garnett has got to calm down when playing against Gerald Wallace.  If you remember the last time the Celtics and Nets met, Gerald Wallace came to Kris Humpries defense and got in KG's grill.   Last night KG and Gerald Wallace decided to get into a mid-game jersey pinching match and Jared Sullinger being the impresionable rookie that he is decided to follow Garnett's example and get a flagrant a couple plays later. 

3) Russ Westbrook shot 5-19 last night which might be a result of an athletic Miami defense except his last four games he has gone 9-28 against the Wolves, 9-21 against Atlanta, 6-18 against the Spurs, and the worstest, 4-13 against the Kings. 

4) Let's all get T's tonight: Durant, Ibaka, Westbrook, Lebron and Dwade.  As if these guys didn't get enough attention already

5) Bulls had never lost on Christmas day until last night.  Plus their leading scorer is Nate Robinson so you can safely say that the Bulls really miss DRose.

Video: Kevin Durant as Someone's Dad

Kind of  similar to the snickers spots from a couple years ago, but great acting job by KD, Mom and Son.  Especially the Son's stoneface.

A Merry Christmas Eve with the Celtics

Enjoy the night before Christmas friends. Try and have as much fun as the celtics did with their reindeer antlers and cat in the hat, hat.

Tweet: Carmelo shows off Chris Copeland in a pair of Onesies

With league t-rexes, Kurt Thomas, Jason Kidd, and Marcus Camby, the Knicks have a leg up on the rest of the league in the area of being really full of nba experience and generally being a bunch of oldies. In fact, even their rookies are old, specifically 28 first year forward Chris Copeland.

As you can see below, the knicks have stepped up the nba rookie hazing tradition from making their rooks bring donuts to providing them with cartoon backpacks to evidently starting an ingenius gag of having rookies pose menacingly in ducky onesies.

Great idea knicks organization. Please post the photo of pablo prigioni in penguin pjs now.

Video: Spike Lee talkin' about an old Knick

Spike Lee could narrate himself eating pumpkin pie and it'd sound exciting.  But the NBA chose for Spike to share about back in the day when he couldn't afford court side seats and the Knicks were kicking butt not with Melo and gang but with a fellow named Bernard King.

Well, Spike only sits courtside nowadays and the only Bernard in the league is that 27 year old rookie on the Mavs.  However, the Knicks are in first place and royally kicking butt, so I guess that's why this video was made in the first place. 

The mega-old knicks are dominating the League and the most braggadocious Knick fan of them all is subtly gloating.  Makes the idea that today the world was supposed to end a little believable dontyathink?

Video: Mavericks Win the Holiday Song Singing Game

During this time of every year, the PR reps for most NBA teams convince their millionaire employees to sing a song or two to wish their fans happy holidays.

Since I am personally a huge fan of NBA players trying really hard to be smooth while singing off a teleprompter, I have been torn about how many of these videos I should post.

However, this year these teams have really stepped up their holiday music videos, including to my memory the first Hannukah song ever sung by a collection of NBA players.  So I've selected, based on my expertise of off-key singing, the best holiday songs by your favorite NBA teams.

Third Place: a shout-out to Omri Caspi, Amar'e Stoudemire and our gefilte fish-loving friends. 




Second Place: some teams have tried to up the ante with the production of their videos, such as the technology savvy Warriors and their fancy backdrops:


First Place: The team that takes top prize for most hilarious holiday song has to go to the Mavs.  How many teams can boast a Christmas carol featuring a crooning German, a hilarious American who iss kind-of German, southern drawled OJ Mayo, scatting Shawn Marion and of course a Jim Carey doppleganger coach who isn't too shy to bust a move. 


Happy Holidays friends.

Video: Blake Griffin's Latest Kia Commercial

Took a break to try to get a pair of the xi's and scan my google reader and found the latest of the KIA Optima commercials.

Hope y'all laugh at BG doin' the gangnam on the stationary pony.

Blog Update: Entirely Unacceptable Excuse, Again

I know for the second post in a row, I am taking time out to mention that there will be no blog updates.  Unacceptable, I know. Shame on me  For the rest of the week, I will be prepping for my last Java project / taking my final (that's later today, so wish me luck if you can get over being upset at me).

Not completely a Santa Clause with only bad presents, I do have some good presents or in this case good news.

1)   Power Ranger-Kings: Lots has changed since the last PR that I put out. Some of you guys have gone from the weak green rangers sans the golden shoulder pads and transformed into the smooth-talkin' white ranger with the golden shoulder pads.  If you don't understand this reference, I'll explain it in an up-coming post along with a run-down of each of the teams in the league.

2) Wrap Up of the First Mini Game("League Pick'em) and Introduction to the Second League Mini Game: We have had about 6 week of pick'ems and I wanted to announce the overall winners and give out some prizes. I will touch base with commishner, Traveling Tim about scheduling a banquet where I can give those out or perhaps just a breakfast at Dennys.

League Update: Out for next couple days!

As mentioned earlier in the week, I will be out of town until next Saturday, so updates will be sparse like hair on Kamaan's dome.

In league news,

I got too excited about the Raptors Kings matchup slotted this past Wednesday so for the pick'em before that game, I wrote that the Grizzlies were playing the Celtics, to which most of the league selected Grizzlies (a great choice IMO).  However, the Grizzlies were not playing the Celtics, in fact not playing on Wednesday at all.  I must have meant the Timberwolves.  Free tacos and points to everyone, minus the tacos.


In NBA news,

A intriguing match-up tonight between perpetual western conference superpowers (movie-guy voice), "Lakers and Thunder".

A probably not so intriguing match-up between eastern conference superwienees, Bobcats and Bucks.

Enough for now as I got to double-check my bags.  Lorenzen Wright picture reference!

Flashback Fridays: Rasheed Wallace and Pistons Sing Jingle Bells

Thanks for coming out of retirement and all Rasheed, but please more Christmas Carols.

Video: Kobe Tries to Impress A Kid Commercial

Kobe being hilariously competitive on a plane.
Totally could happen.

League Update: Wednesday Waiver Wire starring Ben Gordon giving the Goose eye

It has been the week of underdogs. Notably the Wizards have now increased their win total by 200% including last night's victory over the Heat. 

The Lakers have been helping in their typical early season form by letting teams like the Magic and Rockets increase their win total by beating them.

Maybe teams and players are rounding into midseason form and that's why teams that were previously being smashed are now competitng with the best of em.  Or, if you want to be pessimistic and subscribe to the school of thought that NBA teams realize they can afford to lose some of these early season games by resting their veteran star players (another reference to the Spurs).

Regardless, lots of guys stepped up and had great weeks that y'all should pay attention to.  

Don't Sleep on these guys  much longer:

Ben Gordon – (last 3 games )– averaging ~25 PTS, 2.5 3PTM, ~ 4 Reb, ~4 ASTS

Andray Blatche – (last 3 games) – averaging ~18 PTS, 9REB, 51% FG

Antawn Jamison –(last 3 games) – averaging ~19 Pts, 9 REB, 3 3PTM,

Alexey Shved – (last 3 games) – averaging ~17PTS, ~3.5 3PTM

Keep an eye out:

Jordan Crawford – Last night, season high 22, 6 AST 3 3PTM, averaging ~20 pts in last 4 games

Don't forget about 'em:

Elton Brand – Last game, 17 PTS, 12 REB, 4 BLK.

Steve Novak – (last 3 games) averaging 3 3PTM, 0 TO, 2 STLs

Highlight: Rocket's Play-by-play Announcer Quotes Kobe, Sorta

Hide your wife, hide Scot Machado, Rocket fans.  


The one man in the NBA who really doesn't need any external motivation to keep his competitive streak going just got a tremendous one.  Glad that the rematch (1/8/2013) is only about a month away.

Highlight: Chris Paul With the Slap Pass

The Clips needed every single basket to beat the Jazz last night, 105-104.  That's what makes this spontaneous slap pass so great.  In one swing of the paw, the possession went from a ill-advised Blake Griffin entry pass, into a wide-open three point shot for Caron Butler.

Carmelo Anthony Plays Pick-up With the Kids

I'm guessing that  this commercial was filmed sometime between this summer's London Olympics and the beginning of the season.  Rumor is that's when Melo, after spending all that time with Kobe and Lebron, realized he needed to start playing defense more consistently in ordered to be considered in the upper echelon of the league.  Hence the ruthlessness in swatting the four footer trying to score a bucket in the key. 

The realism in the video makes it worth the watch, from melo's one-on-one moves and smooth elbow jumper as well as the grimace on the poor fella at 0:24 trying to play post-D while getting the bumpety bump from Melo.

Russell Westbrook and the Jordan 28's

Jordan brand released the Air Jordan 28 yesterday in New York City.  This shoe will be available nationwide the weekend of this year's NBA All-Star Game for $250.00.

Whatever your opinion of these shoes (mine being a definitive yuck), it is worthwhile news to know that if you're curious at how these bad(literally) boys will look on not a mannequin's feet, the first chance to see em in action is tonight on Russell Westbrook's feet against the Brooklyn Nets.

Mr. Westbrook joined Jordan Brand this year, and the execs at JB's selection of the Thunder guard to debut these unique shoes is spot-on.

Russ has already made a splash in the league for being the polarizing shoot-first, pass-later point guard.  He can win the game with his other-worldly athleticism on one possession, but also over-dribble the team out of game on the next possession.

This past season, Westbrook began drawing the attention of fans for his unique style of cartoon shirts and 90's Nerd button ups.  Take a gander at his choice of outfits in last year's playoff conferences alone, and you'll agree.  If there is one player in all of the NBA to pull off wearing  a shoe with the ultra high zip-up 'glove', it's that glasses with-no-lens wearing guy.  Let's see if he kicks (pun very much intended) some butt in them tonight.

Highlight: Byron Mullens Reminds Everyone That He Can Dunk Pretty Well

If you were like me and surprised that a seven footer not German or Italian was shooting a three-pointer, than you are definitely like me and haven't been watching Mullens formerly known as BJ currently of the Charlotte Bobcats.

In 16 games, Byron (definitely a downgrade from BJ) has been averaging 1.5 threes for a total of 24 treys in 16 games.  I know shooting 28% from that distance already justifies that someone who is taller than 95% of the people in the league should be throwing the ball through the hoop and not launching threes.  But just in case you weren't convinced that Byron has got some hops like Javale as well as a three point touch like Bargnani, press play.

Kevin Love Playing the Sax and Other Timberwolves Lookin' Creepy

For background, this feature is to market something called a 'coat drive' that Comcast cable, The Salvation Army, and the Timberwolves are hosting from now until December 12th. 

I know we live in California so we have no idea what a 'coat drive' is, but I'm sure you can agree that Love's performance as well as the rest of the t'wolves is hilarious and honorable at the same time.  Even moreso when you consider that the fog machine and JJ Barea's SHHH face is all for a charitable cause.

League Pick'em: Week 6

Happy Week 6 Everyone! 

A rough week of picks as the Nets were the only away team to win out of the Pick 10 in beating the Celtics on their home court.  Everyone still seems to be sleeping on the Warriors as only gmachine picked golden state to beat the Nuggets.  

For the MOTW, k1dk0be took down Clipper Nation, but is still behind CN in the league standings at 3 and 2, respectively.  

Not to be like the Lakers and go backwards in overall efficiency as the season progresses, I am leveraging the google doc forms for entering picks for this week.  Please see the form below. 

 But first, the results from week 5.

Tim Duncan and Tony Parker's Halloween Shenanigans

Sometimes pictures surface online at just the most inappropriate time. Specifically this one which judging by Tim Duncan's Punisher costume and Tony Parker's pirate eyepatch, was taken from the Spurs halloween festivities.

With the sanction of a quarter mill against the Spurs this past week, if the league chooses to NOT additionally throw some ridiculous slap-on-the wrist to TD and TP for pretending to stick up an NBA ref with a shotgun and sword, I'd actually be surprised.

Props to the fella who dressed up as Tims fave ref, Joey Crawford.

Who said the Spurs were a boring team?

Flashback Fridays: Fun Police, the one with KG and A Reptile

Kevin Garnett wasn't always the adidas-wearing obnoxiously intense guy he is now.  In fact, he used to be obnoxiously intense guy with the swoosh company and also part of one of my favorite commercial series - Nike's Fun Police.

In light of how he kinda started the brawl between the Nets and the Celtics earlier this week, I figured this video would be relevant as a reminder that KG should be a little more chill in real life and in his acting roles.

Some Possible Sanctions Against the Spurs

Last night commissioner David Stern managed to draw more attention to an already highly anticipated game by threatening sanctions against Spurs head-coach, Gregg Popovich for resting 4 of his starters.  Presumbably, Stern was going to punish Pop for making a early season battle between League powerhouses meaningless by sitting 3 future hall of famers and one exciting young talent.

Via projectspurs:

“I apologize to all NBA fans,” said Stern in a statement shown during TNT’s pregame show. “This was an unacceptable decision by the San Antonio Spurs and substantial sanctions will be forthcoming.”

Pretty boss move. However, once the game started and the second-string Spurs decided to take the Heat down to the wire, I kinda got the feeling the David Stern was shaking his fist at Pop and the Spurs for making his earlier proclamation look so silly.

After all, if Ray Allen had clanked the game-winningthree, today's big story might not be that Pop rested Duncan and gang, but that he won with Gary Neal and the rest of the who-are-theys.

Since David Stern seems really busy finding ways to become the real-life Buzz Killington, I figured I'd help him out with some suggestions for sanctions he can levy against the Spurs that we would all enjoy.

Highlight: Joe Johnson Crosses Up Paul Pierce

To be honest Truthful (pun intended), JJ's crossover on Paul Pierce wasn't impressive for its execution or slinkyness.  This was one of those moves that look way worse because of where the defender ended up:

plus, fall fierce is the greatest anti-nickname anyone could ever come up with (kudos fakeespn).

Lessons Learned: Now That The Wizards Have Won a Game...

1) Even if your star player is out, that is no excuse to give up on the season.

 

Not every team can be like the Bulls and have the perseverance to stay in the hunt while their Derrick Rose is out, nor does every team have the depth of a Mavericks and have the best #2 and #3 options to fill in for their top dog. 

Especially true of the Wiz and their engine, John Wall. Although in the NBA, teams will tank the season in the fool-hardy attempt to improve their draft chances, no such thing exists in fantasy basketball. Plus, in head-to-head matchups, any-freaking-thing can happen, so get your Randy Wittman on and keep looking to make your team better even though your main weapon might be out of commission.


Fantasy application: If your team is missing a star contributor, maybe your goal isn't to be in 1st – 3rd place, but you do have a chance to win your weekly battle and by stringing a couple of those along, you could find your way into the playoffs.

Highlight: Russell Westbrook Dunk-up

Totally know how it is when you're powering up the  lower back and glutes for a thunderous jam, but all of a sudden your hand slips on the ps3 controller and you hit the shot button while in the air and you end up laying it up instead of doin' the slamma jamma.  

Thanks for giving us a highlight to relate to, Russ.

Tweet: Dejuan Blair Referring to himself As Old St. Nick

Since my m.o. on twitter is to favorite all third person personal references to fictional characters made by NBA players, I was delighted to see that Mr. Blair agrees with me that he is the most healthily santa-shaped player in the NBA.

  - DeJuan Blair / DeJuan45, bragging about his fancy schmancy shopping spree with a instagram picture, of course.

League Update: Wednesday Waiver Wire featuring Patty P

It is officially Christmas shopping season, so instead of trying to swing big deals with co-owners, why not go for some cyber monday-type deals by checking out these available players.

Wal-mart 55 inch HD TV Door-Buster

Patrick Patterson

last 5 games:

average 17, 5 reb, 58% FG, ~1 3PTM 75% FT

Aaron Brooks – on waiver wire (dropped by Laker Gang)

last 5 games: 56% FG, ~2 3PTM, 1 STL

Carl Landry

last 5 games: 57% FG, 5FTM, ~90FT%, 14PTS, 4 REB

Target Dirt Devil Clearance

Tiago Splitter

15, 12 AND 7 ASTS, 2 STL and 2 BLK last game (it was against the Wiz, so be a bit wary),

Martell Webster

Cause he plays on the Wizards, noone is paying attention. but you should. Last 3 games have featured points of 16-21-10, with an average of 2 3TPM. Plus, someone has to shine in DC while Wall is out.

Kohl's Outlet Sale

Jeremy Pargo

Lots of minutes since Kyrie has been out (averaging 33 Min, since Nov. 21st). Production is still rather low and not warranting a pick up but the Ty Lawson-like potential (28, 5, 5 against the Sixers on 11/21) is definitely there. May want to keep a careful eye on him.

Caron Butler

Not going to be getting a lot of opportunities as the 5th option on the Clipps, but he did have a franchise record in 3PM made on Monday.

Video: How Ricky Rubio Would Look as a Backyard Wrestler

in case you guys were wondering how rubio would look in a yellow tank wrestling on a mattress.

League Pick'em: Week 5

 Week 5 is upon us, league-ers.  Please make your predictions for whether or not the Wiz will win their first game this week.  Also, some entertaining matchups between the heat and spurs (Thursday) and nuggets and lakers (Friday).

To start, a review of last week:

Video: Kyle Singler Gettin' Buckets

Impressive that Mr. Singler can make shots on a football field, over a water fountain, and even off a moving Honda Accord. Even more impressive that he does so in those raggedy converses.   Creatively impressive that he is following up on his original buckets video by taking to the streets of Detroit to show off his ridiculous shot-making skills.

Sadly un-impressive in neglecting to choose a catchy 80's rock song as the soundtrack (see  Mark Titus' rainmaker vid) and also for how Singler has gone away from his "i'm with COCO" haircut.

All in all, a very Detroit Piston performance featuring  vast potential but just short of what it takes to be a world-class trick shot video.

League Update: Thanksgiving and Things

Welcome back from the thanksgiving break everyone.  With the feasting done, I am sad that there will be no more new hilarious pictures of Hornet's big men holding turkeys.

However, there is plenty of basketball to comfort you and me as we move further into the holiday season. Plus, with Christmas coming up, that means we can all look forward tophotos of our favorite ball players in Santa hats.

See ya turkey season!

To catch everyone up on league moves:

Tweet: Kendall Marshall on Jack Taylor

In case you guys haven't read any sports media this morning  a d3 college player named Jack Taylor scored 138 points yesterday. For your stat geekiness, SB Nation has a screen shot of the insane box score

Had a laundry list of things to say about JT, but since I'm pretty sure I am bias toward the guy already because he played at the same college level as lovable laker, Devean George, I decided to leave you commentary from a more reliable source of basketball talent, the Phoenix Suns', Kendall Marshall.

.

League Update: Power Rankings Wks 1 - 3 Part III

Almost indistinguishable if analyzing the names (Anthony and Tony), but entirely different in country of origin, ballingness of their female sibling, and number of NBA championships.  The clawing at the top between these teams will determine who is going to be crowned a champion like Tony or become known as the Reggie who never bested Cheryl.

3.
Clipper Nation: (NBA Comparison: Oklahoma City Thunder) - A team with no real weaknesses but not dominating in any statistical categories as the two teams above him are currently doing.

Quietly had one of the best draft results of anyone in the league picking up top 30 contributors in Ryan Anderson, Lou Williams and Andrei Kirelenko in rounds 8, 9 and 10.  This team resembles the Thunder in that it is unassumingly at the top in nearly all 9 head-to-head categories due to great draft choices and shrewd waivers pickups by its owner.  While many other teams have made drastic moves in swapping superstars, Clipper Nation has been patiently stocking his team with high contribution players without giving up much in return.


2.

k1dkobe: (NBA Comparison: Memphis Grizzlies) - This squad is winning in free throw percentage and total points while solidly in second place in rebounds and steals.  Having Kobe and Lamarcus Aldridge playing phenomonally and leading this team, you can make the comparison that he's got his Rudy Gay and Z-Bo in those two contributors.

Jamal Crawford, Kyle Lowry (before he got injured) and Omer Asik have been the overachievers on this team and are the metaphorical Conley, Ellington, and Marc Gasol.  If his team is like the real-life Memphis Grizzlies and can keep up the high production, they have the depth to contend in 6 out of 9 statistical categories.

Watch out for the production of Nuggets' Javale Mcgee and Andre Igoudala to provide even more depth to k1dkobe's team.

1.

Rob: (NBA Comparison: Los Angeles Clippers) - Similar to CP3 and Airic Bledsoe, Rob's got the dual guard tandem of young up-comers, Kyrie Irving and Ty Lawson as well as the well-known dominant fantasy assets of Joakim Noah and Lebron James who would be the Deandre and Blake for their fantasy contributions.  J.R. Smith, Kevin Martin, and Tim Duncan are performing much better than anyone could have predicted and are the symbolic Jamal Crawford, Caron Butler, and Lamar Odom (for performing above expectations).  Rob is dominating the categories of fields goals%, rebounds, steals, blocks.  Based on his significant lead in blocks and rebounds, Rob is going to be hard to take down.

League Update: Power Rankings Wks 1 - 3 Part II

In the middle of the pack of the league we have the zach and anthony randolph type teams.  On one hand, we have  squads with a lot of talent and should compete every week.  However, if they don't end up making any moves or their players don't increase their production significantly, they will end up finishing out of the top 3  and be forgotten as the season progresses. (pretty much the definition of skinny Anthony's career).

On the other hand, we have  teams that are a bit bloated and could use a couple FA pickups or trades to tighten up the ship aka the Zbo's.  These teams would do well to punt a few categories at the cost of stocking up in other ones to take down the top tier teams. 

6. 

Sleeper Squad: (NBA Comparison: Houston Rockets) - a plethora of trades has been made to this team throughout the season so it is hard to see effects of all those moves.  There is probably not a owner who calculates and compares statistics more than Sleeper Squad so he can most unoffensively be called the Darryl Morey of this league.

The current squad is not in the top half of the league in many categories so he may need to consider some other moves to invest his strengths in a couple more categories as opposed to all 9.

5.

The Replacements: (NBA comparison: Atlanta Hawks) - High performing team who has yet to get full production from its stars, Wade and Bynum.  Although this squad is at .500, the combination of swing players and post players means that the replacements should compete week to week in having the lowest number of TO's. 

At this time, this team seems to be mired in the middle of the league in the rankings for points, rebounds, assists, and steals.  This means he will be on the see-saw of many 5-4 matchups.  This is my super nerdy analysis and also because it actually happened in weeks 1 & 2 (almost happened week 3, but lost 6-3 to k1d k0be).

4.

gmachine: (NBA comparison: Dallas Mavericks) - this team has the fire power to take down the three teams ranked ahead of him.  Like Mark Cuban's team, it features the inactive Dirk, and the blossoming OJ Mayo.  Jameer Nelson was picked up recently to provide stability at the point guard position for the same reason Darren Collison was signed over the offseason for Dallas.

gmachine has gotten high production from players who have stepped up their play this season like Anderson Varejao and the alley ooper extradonaire, Andre Miller.  Al Jefferson is his usual consistent double-double (burger-loving and statistical) self and  Greg Monroe may take that jump into becoming the top 20 fantasy contributor this season.

Highlight: Westbrook Dunks; Great and Not-So-Great Commentary Ensues

play by play: "cocking the hammer and pulling the nastiest of triggers", yep pretty much give this man the sports emmy for those 9 words.

color commentary: "..russ decides to go up with VEROCITY(??)"

League Pick'em: Week 4

Huge week for the Grizz as they took down both powers in the East and West (Knicks and Spurs).  All of which makes the Clippers more impressive for beating them on opening day and also because they beat Miami thoroughly at home on Wednesday. 

Mike D'antoni is officially at the helm so Lakers are on the week's Pick'em after a week off.  Who's with me that perhaps Mike should take his time since Bernie Bickerstaff is 4-1 as head coach.

Since everyone has been posting their picks kind of weird, I'm going to make the format easier.

Just copy and paste P10 for this week listed below, and delete the team you think will lose, leaving only the team that will win.

League Update: Power Rankings Wks 1 - 3 Part I

We are going into week 4 of the season and teams are starting to show themselves to be in Ben Wallace or Rasheed Wallace form.  Both were never the dominant, superstars but they excelled at niche categories (Boards and Blocks for Ben, Technical Fouls and Threes for Rasheed).  For the teams in this lower echelon of the league, they would do to either make some bolder moves to be more competitive in more categories and not be like Sheed and Ben and only specialize in a couple.

In analyzing the strength/power rank of the ten teams, I have compared each squad to a current NBA squad and their production for this season.  In continuing the parallelism, you may call Sleeper Squad, David Stern, but in no way, shape or bald head am I Adam Silver.  

10.

Laker Gang: (NBA Comparison: Indiana Pacers) - Plagued by injuries ranging from Gerald Wallace, Nena, DRose, Amare and actual Pacer, Danny Granger, this team has lacked the personnel to compete during these first two week like its NBA comparison. 

Despite missing so many critical contributors, this team drew a tie in 3PTM and barely lost in points. against Challah in week 1.  Unfortunately in week 2, Laker Gang ran up against league leader, Rob, and took a beating in points, rebounds, and blocks.

However, the team picked up needed depth with Horford, Parker, Thornton and Gallo from Sleeper Squad so this team may be moving in a different direction which in this case should be up since you can't be any lower than 10th.

9.

kobeking: (NBA Comparison: Brooklyn Nets) - A much better team than his record demonstrates, after finishing on the better end of a 5-4 victory in week 1, this team has ridden the coat tails of Ibaka, Faried, and Russ Westbrook.

Although he has top flight contributors so that he is currently among league leaders in blocks, assists, rebounds, points, 3ptm, the team is particulary weak in free throw%, steals and turnovers.  For those doing the math, he can still win his weekly matchups and pull a Baron Davis on Andrei Kirelenko upset when the playoffs roll around. 

Mirroring the additions that the Nets made this season, kobeking has made a huge trade with sleeper squad.  Specifically, just like Brooklyn acquired Deron and Crash Wallace this past off-season, kobeking has recently acquired Chris Paul and Carmelo which was actually something that could have happened two years ago. 

8.

Challah: (NBA Comparison: Minnesota Timberwolves)  - A well-rounded team with an unassuming superstar, Kevin Love and a host of effective but not meteroic contributors describes both the T'wolves and Challah's team.  Not particularly strong in the FG or FT% or 3PTM, Challah does have strengths in rebounds and blocks.  When Love returns, Challah's rebounding should be hard to match with the trio of Marc Gasol, Paul Millsap, and Love contending in those categories.

Challah also has promising young point guard, Kemba walker and off-guard Arron Affalo, both of whom should have the best fantasy years of their young careers as the top options at their team.  If Deandre Jordan, Nicholas Batum, Chandler Parsons can continue to progress and fill the stat sheet like they have been so far, Challah could be a threatening team to contend with.

7.  

skiptomylou (NBA Comparison: Utah Jazz) - A team full of exciting, athletic, high ceiling players who still have much room to improve.  Leading the pack is current all-nba performer, Rudy Gay. Josh Smith, Dwight Howard should post similar numbers to their 2011-2012 contributions as the season progresses.  If Klay Thompson, Monta Ellis, and Goran Dragic can peak earlier than later, skip might have a chance to meet the giant potential his team has.

Robin and Brook At Disneyland

Setting the standard for NBA twins everywhere (pay attention, Markieff & Marcus), Robin and Brook Lopez are my fave duplicate duo cause no matter how far they are seperated in location (phoenix/new orleans to newjersey/brooklyn), they always come together and remind us that pictures of two people looking goofy is always better than one person's silliness.  If those two are identifical with equally ridiculous hair and facial-expressions, the result is hilarity for days.

ps, Emeka Okafor can't believe the height requirements at Disney are so loose.

Proof (via Grantland)

Flashback Fridays: 1998-1999 Finals Starting Line-Ups

Reading about the Knicks and Spurs game last night, I swear it felt like 1999 all over again.  For those of you not familiar or too lazy to wiki '99, this was the lockout shortened awkward season between the golden Jordan era, and the dynasty Lakers years when a baby-faced Tim Duncan went up against an equally youthful but way rowdier Marcus Camby.

This was probably one of the roughest lookin Knicks squads who went into the playoffs as the 8th seed in the East.  After beating the top-seeded Zo and Timmy Hardaway Heat, they swepts the Hawks and then took down the Pacers.  This team was 24th out of the 27 teams in offense, but they were 4th in overall defense  Think of the 2007 'Believe' Warriors, but with more beards and flagrant fouls.

The spurs squad was led by the who's who of calm old guys: Sean Elliot, Dave Robinson and of course the young big funduncanmentals.  Although they are the visiting team in the clip below, the Spurs were always this calm, no matter the circumstances, especially during this first championship run.

Since the Spurs went ahead and ended the dream for new yorkers that year (Spurs won in 5, 4-1), I hope Chris Dudley and kobe's best friend, Chris Childs were sharing a brew and exchanging high-fives last night for how Ray Felton and Carmelo Anthony soundly beat the Spurs on their home court.  It isn't be the sweet revenge of getting Pat his championship, but at least for one night longer, the Knicks are on top in the NBA.

Enjoy the golden pipes of Mike Walczewski.

Tweet: Chandler Parsons RTs His Mom

Only because we live in the social media saturated 21st century does the title of this post make any sense.

Very mom of Sadie Parsons and very subtly self-promoting of Mr. Parsons.  I suppose I shouldn't hate as Shirley and Monja Willis would probably start their campaigns for their sons if they weren't already front runners in the fan votes.

Highlight: Bledsoe Stuffs Wade

Eric bledsoe with the most dwyane wade-y type block against the heat.


poor dwyane wade who has made highlight reels of him blocking older taller guys got it did to him here.

A classic role reversal of old and young which is actually an underlining theme in the new Boy Meets World remake.

League Update: Wednesday Waiver Wire starring Jrich and Jose

A day late on the waiver wire update guys, but please excuse my tardiness.

Nice as Knicks:

Pick up of the week has definitely got to go to skiptomylou and his acquisition of Jose Calderon in favor of Chandler Parsons.  Since he was picked up on Sunday, Calderon has had games of 11, 17 (WHOOOO), and 10 (to complete a triple double) assist games.

Nuggety-good:
Jason Richardson: A very watchful eye by clipper nation as he picked up Jrich on his first game as a Sixer and was soundly rewarded with a 20 PT, 2 STL, 3 3PM outing.  Plus a nice 360 to remind us that he used to be kind of nice in the air.

Luke Ridnour: picked up by kobe king and has been a steadying influence of 3pm and steals.  In the 4 games since his pickup, he's averaging a very Bob Sura-y 14-4-4.

Ramon Sessions: Quietly been one of the most efficient Bobcats with his high volume production at rather low minutes played.  Finally grabbed off of free agency on Tuesday by Laker Gang which parallels last year's real life Lakers acquistion of Sessions. 

Poor as Pistons:
After his near trip double explosion, Michael Beasley was picked off waivers by gmachine.  Unfortunately, he is averaging a dismal 22.2%, 26.7% from FG and 3P for the season.  Plus, after his blow up against Bobcats last week, he has hovered around less than 25 minutes played with more shots taken than points scored.

Highlight: Chandler Parsons Dunks Off The Bounce-Pass from Jeremy Lin

For the second night in a row, a player on the opposing team decided to mess around and get a career high against the Heat.  Last night it was Chandler Parsons and his 25 points (5/10 3PM).  Enjoy one of his three baskets that was not from 3 point-land or the free-throw line.

Happy Birthday Russell Westbrook: A List of Presents He Could/Should Receive

For fear of you guys criticizing me tomorrow for not doing this for Metta World Peace's 34th birthday, I will still go with my gut and post a list of presents that I wish I could give Russ this year.

1) More 90's Cartoon shirts
2) Less Tyler the Creator/Tommy Bahama Shirts
3) Mike D'antoni as a coach (but as of 7AM PST, that is no longer a possibility.  Thanks a lot, Jim Buss for ruining this joke).  So at least the point-guard friendly offense D'antoni runs.
4) Lil Bow Wow's face photoshopped onto his body, or his face on Bow Wow's body. Who can tell the difference??
5) More roller blade J's
6)  Less frameless post-game glasses, more Tony parker in-game goggles.
7) Joakim Noah's finger guns dance to add in with his pistol gunzz celebration
8) Permanent physical and mental reminder to never get this hair cut again

Please feel free to add in any other gift ideas!

Highlight: Jerryd Bayless Gets the Huge Block which Leads to Wayne Ellington Knocking Down The Transition Three

Huge day for Wayne Ellington (7 Treys), and great effort from his Ramon Session-Carloz Boozer looking backcourt mate.

League Pick'em: Week 3

Week 3 of the season is upon us!  After two entertaining weeks of action, the Knicks are undefeated and the Bulls and Sixers are on top of their divisions with their star players out.  The Heat, Thunder and Spurs are expectantly on top, but the Clippers and Memphis are unexpectedly right up there competing for the top spots in their conferences.

8 out of 10 members of the league made picks this week but we are still waiting on Challah and Clipper Nation to join in on the fun. Although it was a more predictable week of action, the Kings had a surprise victory over their northern california neighbor, Warriors.

For this week, we have some competitive games to watch out for with the Heat taking on the Clippers on Wednesday Night and what should be an entertaining saturday game between upstart Nuggets and steady Spurs.  Happy Pickings!

Recap

Pick 10 of the Last Week

11/5
Knick v. Sixers
Pacers v. Spurs
Blazers v. Mavs
Warriors v. Kings

11/7
Suns v. Bobcats
Nets v. Heat

11/8
Clippers v. Blazers

11/9
Jazz v. Nuggets

11/10
Lakers v. Kings

Match-up of the Last week (MOTW)

gmachine v. skiptomylou

A tie! Everyone who participated gets points for this pick 'em, which basically means these points don't really matter.

Flashback Friday: When Durant, Harden and Green Lip-Sung Trey Songz

The year was 2009.  Sophomores Kevin Durant and Jeff Green enlisted the help of a gregarious rookie by the name of James Harden after a morning/afternoon of practice.

Utilizing the increasingly popular micro-social media app twitter and add-on, twitvid, KD shared this improptu video that he, Green and Harden filmed.

The lighting? A bit foggy.  The video editing?  Elementary.  The performance? Phenomenal compared to official music videos made by other nba superstars.



In hindsight, you can also see the personality of each of these guys based on their performance.

Durant: Clearly the leader and initiator of the sing-a-long. His humbleness is clear in how he gives up the spotlight to Harden during the interlude. 

 

Harden: The charisma and talent is there, but you can tell that he would have shone just as bright had he been spotlighted more.

 

Green: A good back-up singer. A bit awkward with his choice of dance moves.

 

Westbrook: Not visible. Probably in the next room filming a song of his own.

Me and My Baby Boy Contest: Rose vs Battier

Congrats to Derrick Rose and his newborn, PJ.

When Rose hopefully returns in March (3/27) or April (4/14) to play the Heat, I really hope Battier scolds him for opting for skins when he could have wore matching tuxedo shirts like Shane and baby Zeke.  

First, the standard-bearer for nba daddy & infant picture, and then DRose and his son.

Highlight: Another Great Outlet Pass from Koufos to Lawson and then Faried for the Slam

"give it to kenneth and BYEBYE!"

League Update: Wednesday Waiver Wire led by a rookie named Dion

Going into middle of week 2, the pick-up of the season goes to Clipper Nation and his foresight in picking up Kyrie Irving's backcourt mate, Dion Waiters.

With his explosion Monday night (28 PTS, 7 3PM, 1 TO) against the porous Clippers defense,  you can expect Waiters' confidence to be sky-high. Here are some other highlights:

Key Pickups:

Challah
Kemba Walker - averaging 20 PTS, 2 STL, 1 TO.

Sleeper Squad
Robin Lopez  - averaging 14 PTS, just about 8 REB, 3 BLK

Laker Gang
George Hill - averaging 14 PTS 4 REB 5 AST

Watch List:

JJ Redick - averaging 23 PTS,  3 3PTM
Jason Kidd - averaging 2 3PM, 2 STL

Brendan Haywood - averaging 9 PTS, 10 REB

Tweet: Elton Brand, the Libertarian

While a poll early this season made it clear that majority of NBA owners supported Mitt Romney and the players were in Obama's camp, one burly but nerdy power forward used his twitter account to share who he voted for:

kudos EB, for 

1) doing your civic duty 

2) not being afraid to share your party affiliation although it may polarize you from more ignorant NBA fans

3) being a good loser, which we often give athletes crap for although our whole lives we are encouraged to be gracious in defeat.  

Highlight: JR Smith Throws It Down while Doug Collins Frowns

Knicks are the early season suprise.  They've started 3-0 and their star scorer is being talked about more for his defense than offense.  Their points guards Kidd and Prigioni are 39 and 35 years of age with the former currently being regarded in fantasy sports as one of the most efficient players in the league, and the latter is contributing key minutes (see highlight below).

However, the one consistent aspect of the team was guard JR Smith's ability to make ridiculously athletic plays to bring the Garden on its feet. On this play he does just that.

Plus, check out the painfully long 3 seconds the cameramen pans to Doug Collins.  What a great highlight. 

Brookyln Nets Have a Shiny New Mascot

I guess part of Mikhail Prokerov's dry humor is to subtly change the team's name, starting with the mascot choice as seen below.  Not that great of a funny, but much better than how the owners chose to not-so-subtly leave New Jersey.

via nets daily, this new mascot was supposed to take over for the old Nets mascot, the cuddly Sly the Silver Fox, to match the team's team new jerseys, arena and point guard.

As cool as it is to have Knight as a mascot (my junior high mascot was a knight), the Nets aren't the only team in the NBA to have a mascot that makes no sense (see Wizards and their jolly blue guy, G-wiz).  I guess it is hard to find a character to represent "Nets", just like its hard to represent "Heat" (goofy bird with the appropriately pun-ed name, Burnie), or "Magic" (Stuff the Magic Dragon).   

I hope NBA teams stick with the sesame street characters like G-wiz.  I personally am not a fan of a medieval soldier leading me in cheers.  Also, can you imagine a soldier getting a bro-hug from Jay-z?

Happy Monday everybody. I leave you with Burnie and the mascot of Toronto, Drake.

Player to Watch: JJ Redick and his Growing Fantasy Value

It is early in the season and besides the usual suspects, Lebron and Chris Paul, highlighting the top 10 in fantasy production, there are also players with some suspiciously attractive numbers.

For example, you have Mike Dunleavy Jr. and Mo Williams at 2 and 6 (2012-2013 overall fantasy value), overachieving for their respective teams.

Conventional wisdom would say that neither of these guys are number 1 options on their squads and thus should not be counted on to keep this blistering pace in their contributions. Unless monta ellis, bjennings in milwaukee and al jefferson, paul millsap, all decide to fall off the face of the earth, dunleavy and mowill should be coming back down to earth in week 2.

On the other hand, you have players like JJ redick who has always been a role player in the NBA his whole career, but now hes being counted on to produce on a team that needs his scoring and in a system (jacque vaugn's free-flowing offense) where he is thriving.

Here are some historical instances for you to ponder when considering whether or not to keep your eye on Redick.  Keep in mind that the guys listed below such as Zach Randolph and Michael Redd were seen as good players but never considered go-to guys until they had their huge years on their dismal lottery teams.


Jamal Crawford and Zach Randolph - NY Knicks - 2007-2008
Al Harrington - NY KNicks - 2008-2009
Michael Redd - Milwaukee Bucks 2002-2003

as you can see, the following season, things changed for Redd:

 It's only been 2 games, but JJ Redick has the same opportunity that Crawford had in New York playing alongside Z-bo in 07-08 and with him and Al Harrington in 08-09.  Redick probably won't produce like Redd did, but he is worth considering if you are looking to fill a role in that SG position with an emphasis on %'s, 3PTM and low turnovers.

edit
gmachine picked him up Monday morning after I had this written up on Sunday might.  GJ, gabey.

edit x2
it was actually the replacements, sorry and good pick-up don.  

League Pick'em: Week 2

What up week 2 league-ers!

Lots of underdog victories in the first week of the season.  Clearly everyone was homering it up with the lakers pick, but I'm right with you guys.  No way I would have the lakeshow 1-3 by the end of the week while dallas is 2-1.  Some other suprises included the Rockets/Harden's hot start as well the youthful Hornets losing at the buzzer to the Spurs and then winning their next two games.  Make your picks with this new resurgence of teams in mind!

Recap

Pick 10 of the Last Week

Oct.30
1)Wiz @ Cavs
2) Mavs @ Lakeshow
3) Celts @ Heat

Oct. 31
4) Nuggs @ Sixers
5) Pacers @ Raps
6) Rockets @ Pistons
7) Spurs @ Hornets
8) Kings @ Bulls
9) Mavs @ Jazz
10) Memphis @ Clippers

Results:

 In descending order,

team name: Rob

pick 10 choices:
wiz, lakers, heat, nuggets, pacers, rockets, spurs, kings, mavs, memphis

 Total Points: 4

 Team name: kobeking

Pick 10 Choices:
Cavs, Lakers, Celts, Nuggets, Pacers, Rockets, Hornets, Kings, Jazz, Clippers.

MOTW: Sleeper Squad

Total Points: 5

 team name: skiptomylou

pick 10 choices:
cavs, lakers, celtics, nuggets, pacers, pistons, spurs, bulls, jazz, clippers

motw:
Sleeper Squad 

 Total Points: 6

Team Name: The Replacements

Pick 10 Choices: 1) Cavs 2) Lakers 3) Heat 4)Nuggets 5)Pacers 6) Rockets 7)Spurs 8) Kings, 9)Mavs 10) Clippers

MOTW: Sleeper Squad (hands down)  ^these type of comments on your picks are hilarious in hindsight

Total Points: 7

tied for first place

Team name: Sleeper Squad.

Pick 10 Choices:
Cavs, Lakers, Heat, Nuggets, Pacers, Rockets, Spurs, Bulls, Jazz, Clippers.

MOTW: Sleeper Squad  

Total Points: 8

team name: gmachine

pick 10 choices:
cavs, lakers, heat, nuggets, pacers, pistons, spurs, kings, jazz, clippers

MOTW:k1d k0be

 Total Points: 8

Pick 10 for the Week (P10)

 Home team is always the second team listed.

11/5
Knick v. Sixers
Pacers v. Spurs
Blazers v. Mavs
Warriors v. Kings

11/7
Suns v. Bobcats
Nets v. Heat

11/8
Clippers v. Blazers

11/9
Jazz v. Nuggets

11/10
Lakers v. Kings

Match-up of the week (MOTW)

gmachine v. skiptomylou