Happy New Year From A Guy Wearing a Hat On Top of His Hat

since it is already 2013 on the east coast, here's how shump looked going into 2013.  almost our turn west coast!

Dwight Howard is Basically Kosta Koufos Right Now

OC Register writer Kevin Ding wrote a painfully accurate article this morning analyzing Dwight Howard's transition as a Laker.

Among the many insightful statements made in that article, was the claim that some anonymous NBA insiders are comparing D12 to the Nuggets 5th year center for how mediocre his impact is on the team. 

"Hey, hey now, but Koof is averaging career highs across the board" say some Nugget fans.

Read this excerpt from Ding's article for context:

"Dwight Howard is basically Kosta Koufos" was the message I got from one NBA insider midway through the Lakers' loss Wednesday night in Denver, referring to the Nuggets' largely anonymous center.

Not long after, someone else who works in league personnel offered: "If you dropped in from another planet and had no idea who the players were, you would never know that Dwight Howard was one of the best players."

I mean I personally am a huge fan of Kosta from back in his Ohio State days and the shenanigans Mark Titus used to write about the big guy, but even this claim has me shaking my head.  As well as Kosta has been outletting passes, he should not be in the same breath with Dwight, even if it is just a hyperbolic statement commenting on the disappointing season Howard is having.

Also in the article is the scathing comparison that Dwight Howard, who has made it clear that he does not want to be compared to Shaq, is now duplicating the most undesirable qualities that #34 used to bring to the Lakers.

However, to borrow from Spiderman's uncle Ben, Dwight has inherited great power in being a Laker center and with that power comes great responsibility. The benefits that come with being in the league's largest market and the prestige and fame of of being the premier big man on argubaly the league's most famous team means that Dwight needs to welcome unfair and ridiculous comparisons.

He is going to be heavily scrutinized and in this case unfairly compared in statistical numbers such as PER and +-, but also in the trivial ways for how he carries himself in post-game interviews such as explaining his mistakes (see last night's interview about his foul on Kenneth Faried and subsequent ejection).  Anyone who has played myplayer in NBA 2k knows that you gotta handle those interview mo' gracefully, Dwight.

Really trying to make it clear that Dwight is not the victim here and not make too a big deal out of some NBA insider's silly exaggerated comparison.

However, the only solution for Dwight now if he wants to save his legacy is to not only outplay guys like Koufos but entirely eclipse the rest of the centers in the League with his statistical performance, and overall impact on the Laker organization. 

Highlight: JR Smith Hits the Game Winner Over the Suns

Since Melo and Ray Felton were inactive last night, JR Smith seized the opportunity to shine against the Suns.  Peep the beautiful buzzer beater below.

With 1 second on the clock, and Jason Kidd inbounding, Tyson Chandler was too heavily guarded to handle a lob, there wasn't enough time for Steve Novak's smooth J, and James White was probably out there confused at how he could use his insane dunking ability with so little time on the clock.

Anyone  watching this game should have seen it coming; a ridiculously angled corner jumper off  a curl from the man named Earl.

Doc Rivers Calls Sullinger Fat

"When you watch him, you don’t see rookie. You just see a big fat guy playing basketball.”

 -Doc Rivers on Jared Sullinger

Doug Collins Gives Big Macs to Fans

On the friday before Christmas, the Sixers ended their losing streak.

Ninety-nine on the 'board, the hungry fans started to freak

A basket, a free throw or even a Dorell Wright ill-advised three.

"Please just another point", thought those who love freebies.

Except the lead was too big; running up the score would not be appreciated.

No one wanted to see what would happen if Ivan Johnson became irritated.

Coach motioned to hold the ball,

and said ""I'll make it up to them all"

Evan did as was told and the clock hit zero.

1800 burgers on him; Doug Collins our hero.

Video: Chris Paul and His Twin Brother

Chris Paul joining Blake in the commercial funnies department.  Keep em, coming!

Christmas Day Recap: Nice and Naaaaaaah-really

Hope everyone had a great time watching the bonanza of NBA games on Christmas Day.  For a run-down of late night's festivities, I thought I'd get a head start for Santa on his list-making for 2013.

Nice

1) Kobe and Carmelo were both on fire as they shot 14-24 and 13-23 respectively.  Kobe broke the record for most points on Christmas Day set byt he Big O and also got the win, so gonna have to give Mr. Bryant the advantage for the day.

2) Lebron's "no foul" streak ended last night, and that shows how amazing Bron is playing that we get amazed when he registers a foul.

3) Talk about making your Ex regret you.  Omer Asik had 20 points and 18 boards against his former team and the Rockets smashed on the Bulls.

4) The Clippers were showboating even before the game began with their Christmas outfits.  Then they backed up their goofy outfits with a 48 minute highlight reel. 

5) Nuggets Christmas jersey.  Not much went right for them, but the yellow trim on those fits made Iggy even more majestic flying through the air.

Nah-really:

1) Brooklyn with all their off-season build up is basically at .500 with a 14-13 record.  They could have just stayed in New Jersey if they were going to continue performing so underwelmingly.

2) Kevin Garnett has got to calm down when playing against Gerald Wallace.  If you remember the last time the Celtics and Nets met, Gerald Wallace came to Kris Humpries defense and got in KG's grill.   Last night KG and Gerald Wallace decided to get into a mid-game jersey pinching match and Jared Sullinger being the impresionable rookie that he is decided to follow Garnett's example and get a flagrant a couple plays later. 

3) Russ Westbrook shot 5-19 last night which might be a result of an athletic Miami defense except his last four games he has gone 9-28 against the Wolves, 9-21 against Atlanta, 6-18 against the Spurs, and the worstest, 4-13 against the Kings. 

4) Let's all get T's tonight: Durant, Ibaka, Westbrook, Lebron and Dwade.  As if these guys didn't get enough attention already

5) Bulls had never lost on Christmas day until last night.  Plus their leading scorer is Nate Robinson so you can safely say that the Bulls really miss DRose.

Video: Kevin Durant as Someone's Dad

Kind of  similar to the snickers spots from a couple years ago, but great acting job by KD, Mom and Son.  Especially the Son's stoneface.

A Merry Christmas Eve with the Celtics

Enjoy the night before Christmas friends. Try and have as much fun as the celtics did with their reindeer antlers and cat in the hat, hat.

Tweet: Carmelo shows off Chris Copeland in a pair of Onesies

With league t-rexes, Kurt Thomas, Jason Kidd, and Marcus Camby, the Knicks have a leg up on the rest of the league in the area of being really full of nba experience and generally being a bunch of oldies. In fact, even their rookies are old, specifically 28 first year forward Chris Copeland.

As you can see below, the knicks have stepped up the nba rookie hazing tradition from making their rooks bring donuts to providing them with cartoon backpacks to evidently starting an ingenius gag of having rookies pose menacingly in ducky onesies.

Great idea knicks organization. Please post the photo of pablo prigioni in penguin pjs now.

Video: Spike Lee talkin' about an old Knick

Spike Lee could narrate himself eating pumpkin pie and it'd sound exciting.  But the NBA chose for Spike to share about back in the day when he couldn't afford court side seats and the Knicks were kicking butt not with Melo and gang but with a fellow named Bernard King.

Well, Spike only sits courtside nowadays and the only Bernard in the league is that 27 year old rookie on the Mavs.  However, the Knicks are in first place and royally kicking butt, so I guess that's why this video was made in the first place. 

The mega-old knicks are dominating the League and the most braggadocious Knick fan of them all is subtly gloating.  Makes the idea that today the world was supposed to end a little believable dontyathink?

Video: Mavericks Win the Holiday Song Singing Game

During this time of every year, the PR reps for most NBA teams convince their millionaire employees to sing a song or two to wish their fans happy holidays.

Since I am personally a huge fan of NBA players trying really hard to be smooth while singing off a teleprompter, I have been torn about how many of these videos I should post.

However, this year these teams have really stepped up their holiday music videos, including to my memory the first Hannukah song ever sung by a collection of NBA players.  So I've selected, based on my expertise of off-key singing, the best holiday songs by your favorite NBA teams.

Third Place: a shout-out to Omri Caspi, Amar'e Stoudemire and our gefilte fish-loving friends. 




Second Place: some teams have tried to up the ante with the production of their videos, such as the technology savvy Warriors and their fancy backdrops:


First Place: The team that takes top prize for most hilarious holiday song has to go to the Mavs.  How many teams can boast a Christmas carol featuring a crooning German, a hilarious American who iss kind-of German, southern drawled OJ Mayo, scatting Shawn Marion and of course a Jim Carey doppleganger coach who isn't too shy to bust a move. 


Happy Holidays friends.

Video: Blake Griffin's Latest Kia Commercial

Took a break to try to get a pair of the xi's and scan my google reader and found the latest of the KIA Optima commercials.

Hope y'all laugh at BG doin' the gangnam on the stationary pony.

Blog Update: Entirely Unacceptable Excuse, Again

I know for the second post in a row, I am taking time out to mention that there will be no blog updates.  Unacceptable, I know. Shame on me  For the rest of the week, I will be prepping for my last Java project / taking my final (that's later today, so wish me luck if you can get over being upset at me).

Not completely a Santa Clause with only bad presents, I do have some good presents or in this case good news.

1)   Power Ranger-Kings: Lots has changed since the last PR that I put out. Some of you guys have gone from the weak green rangers sans the golden shoulder pads and transformed into the smooth-talkin' white ranger with the golden shoulder pads.  If you don't understand this reference, I'll explain it in an up-coming post along with a run-down of each of the teams in the league.

2) Wrap Up of the First Mini Game("League Pick'em) and Introduction to the Second League Mini Game: We have had about 6 week of pick'ems and I wanted to announce the overall winners and give out some prizes. I will touch base with commishner, Traveling Tim about scheduling a banquet where I can give those out or perhaps just a breakfast at Dennys.

League Update: Out for next couple days!

As mentioned earlier in the week, I will be out of town until next Saturday, so updates will be sparse like hair on Kamaan's dome.

In league news,

I got too excited about the Raptors Kings matchup slotted this past Wednesday so for the pick'em before that game, I wrote that the Grizzlies were playing the Celtics, to which most of the league selected Grizzlies (a great choice IMO).  However, the Grizzlies were not playing the Celtics, in fact not playing on Wednesday at all.  I must have meant the Timberwolves.  Free tacos and points to everyone, minus the tacos.


In NBA news,

A intriguing match-up tonight between perpetual western conference superpowers (movie-guy voice), "Lakers and Thunder".

A probably not so intriguing match-up between eastern conference superwienees, Bobcats and Bucks.

Enough for now as I got to double-check my bags.  Lorenzen Wright picture reference!

Flashback Fridays: Rasheed Wallace and Pistons Sing Jingle Bells

Thanks for coming out of retirement and all Rasheed, but please more Christmas Carols.

Video: Kobe Tries to Impress A Kid Commercial

Kobe being hilariously competitive on a plane.
Totally could happen.

League Update: Wednesday Waiver Wire starring Ben Gordon giving the Goose eye

It has been the week of underdogs. Notably the Wizards have now increased their win total by 200% including last night's victory over the Heat. 

The Lakers have been helping in their typical early season form by letting teams like the Magic and Rockets increase their win total by beating them.

Maybe teams and players are rounding into midseason form and that's why teams that were previously being smashed are now competitng with the best of em.  Or, if you want to be pessimistic and subscribe to the school of thought that NBA teams realize they can afford to lose some of these early season games by resting their veteran star players (another reference to the Spurs).

Regardless, lots of guys stepped up and had great weeks that y'all should pay attention to.  

Don't Sleep on these guys  much longer:

Ben Gordon – (last 3 games )– averaging ~25 PTS, 2.5 3PTM, ~ 4 Reb, ~4 ASTS

Andray Blatche – (last 3 games) – averaging ~18 PTS, 9REB, 51% FG

Antawn Jamison –(last 3 games) – averaging ~19 Pts, 9 REB, 3 3PTM,

Alexey Shved – (last 3 games) – averaging ~17PTS, ~3.5 3PTM

Keep an eye out:

Jordan Crawford – Last night, season high 22, 6 AST 3 3PTM, averaging ~20 pts in last 4 games

Don't forget about 'em:

Elton Brand – Last game, 17 PTS, 12 REB, 4 BLK.

Steve Novak – (last 3 games) averaging 3 3PTM, 0 TO, 2 STLs

Highlight: Rocket's Play-by-play Announcer Quotes Kobe, Sorta

Hide your wife, hide Scot Machado, Rocket fans.  


The one man in the NBA who really doesn't need any external motivation to keep his competitive streak going just got a tremendous one.  Glad that the rematch (1/8/2013) is only about a month away.

Highlight: Chris Paul With the Slap Pass

The Clips needed every single basket to beat the Jazz last night, 105-104.  That's what makes this spontaneous slap pass so great.  In one swing of the paw, the possession went from a ill-advised Blake Griffin entry pass, into a wide-open three point shot for Caron Butler.

Carmelo Anthony Plays Pick-up With the Kids

I'm guessing that  this commercial was filmed sometime between this summer's London Olympics and the beginning of the season.  Rumor is that's when Melo, after spending all that time with Kobe and Lebron, realized he needed to start playing defense more consistently in ordered to be considered in the upper echelon of the league.  Hence the ruthlessness in swatting the four footer trying to score a bucket in the key. 

The realism in the video makes it worth the watch, from melo's one-on-one moves and smooth elbow jumper as well as the grimace on the poor fella at 0:24 trying to play post-D while getting the bumpety bump from Melo.

Russell Westbrook and the Jordan 28's

Jordan brand released the Air Jordan 28 yesterday in New York City.  This shoe will be available nationwide the weekend of this year's NBA All-Star Game for $250.00.

Whatever your opinion of these shoes (mine being a definitive yuck), it is worthwhile news to know that if you're curious at how these bad(literally) boys will look on not a mannequin's feet, the first chance to see em in action is tonight on Russell Westbrook's feet against the Brooklyn Nets.

Mr. Westbrook joined Jordan Brand this year, and the execs at JB's selection of the Thunder guard to debut these unique shoes is spot-on.

Russ has already made a splash in the league for being the polarizing shoot-first, pass-later point guard.  He can win the game with his other-worldly athleticism on one possession, but also over-dribble the team out of game on the next possession.

This past season, Westbrook began drawing the attention of fans for his unique style of cartoon shirts and 90's Nerd button ups.  Take a gander at his choice of outfits in last year's playoff conferences alone, and you'll agree.  If there is one player in all of the NBA to pull off wearing  a shoe with the ultra high zip-up 'glove', it's that glasses with-no-lens wearing guy.  Let's see if he kicks (pun very much intended) some butt in them tonight.

Highlight: Byron Mullens Reminds Everyone That He Can Dunk Pretty Well

If you were like me and surprised that a seven footer not German or Italian was shooting a three-pointer, than you are definitely like me and haven't been watching Mullens formerly known as BJ currently of the Charlotte Bobcats.

In 16 games, Byron (definitely a downgrade from BJ) has been averaging 1.5 threes for a total of 24 treys in 16 games.  I know shooting 28% from that distance already justifies that someone who is taller than 95% of the people in the league should be throwing the ball through the hoop and not launching threes.  But just in case you weren't convinced that Byron has got some hops like Javale as well as a three point touch like Bargnani, press play.

Kevin Love Playing the Sax and Other Timberwolves Lookin' Creepy

For background, this feature is to market something called a 'coat drive' that Comcast cable, The Salvation Army, and the Timberwolves are hosting from now until December 12th. 

I know we live in California so we have no idea what a 'coat drive' is, but I'm sure you can agree that Love's performance as well as the rest of the t'wolves is hilarious and honorable at the same time.  Even moreso when you consider that the fog machine and JJ Barea's SHHH face is all for a charitable cause.

League Pick'em: Week 6

Happy Week 6 Everyone! 

A rough week of picks as the Nets were the only away team to win out of the Pick 10 in beating the Celtics on their home court.  Everyone still seems to be sleeping on the Warriors as only gmachine picked golden state to beat the Nuggets.  

For the MOTW, k1dk0be took down Clipper Nation, but is still behind CN in the league standings at 3 and 2, respectively.  

Not to be like the Lakers and go backwards in overall efficiency as the season progresses, I am leveraging the google doc forms for entering picks for this week.  Please see the form below. 

 But first, the results from week 5.

Tim Duncan and Tony Parker's Halloween Shenanigans

Sometimes pictures surface online at just the most inappropriate time. Specifically this one which judging by Tim Duncan's Punisher costume and Tony Parker's pirate eyepatch, was taken from the Spurs halloween festivities.

With the sanction of a quarter mill against the Spurs this past week, if the league chooses to NOT additionally throw some ridiculous slap-on-the wrist to TD and TP for pretending to stick up an NBA ref with a shotgun and sword, I'd actually be surprised.

Props to the fella who dressed up as Tims fave ref, Joey Crawford.

Who said the Spurs were a boring team?