Nickname Suggestions For Three Brooklyn Nets Players

If you haven't read about it already, the first of three "nickname jersey" games will be played this Friday between the Brooklyn Nets and the Miami Heat.  Players from both teams will wear nicknames on their uniforms rather than the names their mama's gave them.

If this sounds like a cheesy way to sell some extra jerseys and sound strangely similar to what Chad Johnson voluntarily did for himself when he was on the Cincinatti Bengals, then I completely agree. But it could be worse.  It could be more sleeved jerseys.

This afternoon the Sun-Sentinal reported what the 15 nicknames the Miami Heat players will wear.  I've copied over the list for your enjoyment:

Joel Anthony: "Doc"
Shane Battier: "Battle"
Michael Beasley: "B Easy"
Chris Bosh: "CB"
Mario Chalmers: "Rio"
Norris Cole: "Cole Train"
Udonis Haslem: "UD"
LeBron James: "King James"
James Jones: "JJ"
Rashard Lewis: "Sweet Lew"
Roger Mason Jr.: "MoneyMase"
Greg Oden: "G.O."
Dwyane Wade: "D.Wade"

Since the Nets haven't released a similar article of their own, I guess I will have to wait in suspense about what guys in the locker room call Tornike Shengelia or if Tyshawn Taylor goes by "Ty Ty" or "Tay Tay". I did come up with the three best nicknames I could make up for the Nets players that don't already have well-known nicknames of their own. They are...

1. Alan "Alan" Anderson

Cause thats his first name but also because thats what you get when you combine the first two letters of his first name with the first two letters of his last name.

2.  Mirza "Bear Hater" Teletovic  

Cause he once joked about tearing apart the huge mammal on his twitter account. Figuratively, of course.

3. Mason "Jar of" Plumlee

Cause Roger Mason already has "Money Mase" on his jersey and only a guy who went to Duke could pull off having a preposition as a nickname.

Video: Andray Blatch Makin' Just About Everything Against Deandre Jordan

I know Doc Rivers has been lavishing praise on  Deandre Jordan since training camp about how impactful DJ would be/could be this season for the Clipps.  To a certain extent, Deandre's been doin' that, averaging almost 13 rebounds per game and leading the league in total and defensive rebounds.  Plus, he's in the top 5 for blocks, and been a big reason why the Clippers have started off the season so well.

On the other hand, Andray Blatche scored 75% of the time he decided to shoot it in the last 2 minutes of the 3rd quarter while being guarded by DJ.



Then again, no matter how solid your defense there, there are games where the guy or gal (i'm not hating on the lady ballers), you're sticking just seems to make everything.  Basing this theory out of personal experience, as I have been scored by many a "Andray Blatch"-y kind of ballplayer while playing pickup.  Its awful because although I didn't have an arena of people cheering when I got scored on, I know how it feels when the other team's old dudes (pierce, kg, joe johnson and deron williams) just keep giving the ball to the guy I'm guarding and then celebrating like they just won an NBA game. In the case of the Nets, they did, so good day for Dray; feel your pain Deandre.

An Explanation of A Mirza Teletovic Tweet About Bears

This is Mirza Teletovic

This is his tweet (translated from Croatian to English) 

"I do not know in America that we Herzegovinans kill a bear with his bare hands"

This is Mirza wearing the jersey of the country he plays internationally for, Bosnia and Herzegovina.  The tweet was after the Nets had beaten the Grizzlies in Memphis on Friday night.

Video: Nets Play Some Tough Games While Wearing Furry Hats

3rd Place: Reggie Evans giving the crazy eyes at :15.

2nd Place: Marshon Brooks saying "Joe" and still not guessing Joe Johnson at 1:49

1st Place: Brook Lopez' speaking at 1:31 and 2:16, actually Brook Lopez' voice saying anything is the funniest.  Minimize the screen and just listen to that big goofhead's voice and you're guaranteed to chuckle for extended minutes.

Bouncing Ball: Perspectives from some of your favorite film characters

Jason Thompson as the forgotten Disney classic, Pinocchio.

John Wesley Snipes Salmons is Gollum/Sméagol, clearly mouthing "preh-shuzzzzz"

Isaiah Thomas as Doug from "Up", because the more I look, the more I that think he's seen some fan's snack and is thinking "CHURRO?"

Reggie Evans is Trinity, the very bendy girlfriend of Neo, from Matrix.

Highlight: Joe Johnson Crosses Up Paul Pierce

To be honest Truthful (pun intended), JJ's crossover on Paul Pierce wasn't impressive for its execution or slinkyness.  This was one of those moves that look way worse because of where the defender ended up:

plus, fall fierce is the greatest anti-nickname anyone could ever come up with (kudos fakeespn).

Brookyln Nets Have a Shiny New Mascot

I guess part of Mikhail Prokerov's dry humor is to subtly change the team's name, starting with the mascot choice as seen below.  Not that great of a funny, but much better than how the owners chose to not-so-subtly leave New Jersey.

via nets daily, this new mascot was supposed to take over for the old Nets mascot, the cuddly Sly the Silver Fox, to match the team's team new jerseys, arena and point guard.

As cool as it is to have Knight as a mascot (my junior high mascot was a knight), the Nets aren't the only team in the NBA to have a mascot that makes no sense (see Wizards and their jolly blue guy, G-wiz).  I guess it is hard to find a character to represent "Nets", just like its hard to represent "Heat" (goofy bird with the appropriately pun-ed name, Burnie), or "Magic" (Stuff the Magic Dragon).   

I hope NBA teams stick with the sesame street characters like G-wiz.  I personally am not a fan of a medieval soldier leading me in cheers.  Also, can you imagine a soldier getting a bro-hug from Jay-z?

Happy Monday everybody. I leave you with Burnie and the mascot of Toronto, Drake.

Mikhail Prokhorov's a really good Interviewee

With all the mystique and supposed shadiness of his business dealings, I gotta give it to Brooklyn Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov, he really is a one-man quote machine.  I've taken the liberty of cutting out some memorable parts of his New York Post interview with Steve Serby.  See them after the jump.